Side note: The Yellow is a hostel in Rome.
Recently, I would consider myself “like the butterfly.”
I am most in my element when I am exploring and experiencing various regions of the world.
Earlier circumstances meant travel was never something I seriously considered for my future. But, circumstances are constantly changing, and so did the significance traveled played in my life.
Travel became a recurrent in the midst of change. The timings of these trips have typically occurred in moments of adjustment and unease.
Rome was the first trip I took by myself. Now, this may not seem like a big feat to everyone, but – I am someone who has been labelled with the nick name TT (Tourist Trap). I almost broke-up with an ex-boyfriend via my inability to properly read a map.
Rome I conquered all by myself. I even ventured off the path of walking-tour to truly explore the city as a tourist, minus the trap!
Similarly, Rome has occurred at a time where my life is about to drastically change… again. I am still not too sure how all of the pieces will fall, but it’s definitely uncomfortable, and yet positive – it has led to this entry.
And so, I sit here trying to make sense out of these circumstantial travel opportunities.
Travel has added to the transformation and re-making of myself. As result, I am forced to push through limitations.
I need to remember this: when things don’t happen the way I think they should, it may be because I am being pressed into something else that is getting me closer to where I need to be. Even if it’s not where I thought I would end up.
A Note on Life (revisited)
In short, life is funny… humorous, really.
It takes you by surprise. It humbles you when your ego has gotten a
few inches too big. And, just when you can’t comprehend what on earth
you are doing with it, life re-affirms your existence and purpose.
I have yet to see all of these things happen in order. Unlike a
perfectly written story with a hopeful beginning, shaky middle, and
end that includes the words “happily ever after.”
Instead, life’s events happen simultaneously.
With no start or finishing point, I have come to
conclude that life just IS.
In a world where time is ultimately irrelevant, we are all overly
obsessed with the idea of having too little of it. For most people,
this obsession with not having enough time turns into a worry, an
insecurity, and a constant questioning of those various milestones you
are or could be reaching.
Rather then living in a seemingly timeless
moment, you wonder if pending decisions will be right or wrong, and
will get you to where you eventually want to be.
opportunities that your life presents may eventually get
you to ‘where you want to be’, where you end up may not be what you
had imagined at all.
The world is cluttered with millions of writings that cover anything
and everything from the meaning of life, finding the happiest you, and
let’s not forget the great theory of positive thinking.
I for one have nothing against these books as they inspire, and give
hope, and new ways of thinking.
What I do question, however, is how these stories attempt to explain
the mysteries of the world in a neat and tidy 250 page novel – with
numbered pages, indexed headings, and easy to follow tips. These
accounts are written after the fact, and rarely show growth after the
idea and personal experience has been published.
In reality, people are looking for a quick fix, an easy answer, and ways to romanticize their lives while fitting gigantic abstract situations into seemingly small holes. They read these books hoping to find one sentence that will change their life forever, and forget everything the minute their own individual life takes an unexpected turn.
I am beginning to realize that
there is a difference between taking leaps of faith and trying to make
things happen the way you see fit.
—- I think life is more obscure then that, you are never really done
learning and growing